Four Indicators You Should Move House

1. Once again, there are no more clean coffee spoons, because the junkies have used them all.

2. The blasting engineering team members already have their own keys.

3. The cockroaches start to decorate the rooms without consulting you.

4. Your landlord starts renting out the basement to the “Habitual Criminals Slaughterhouse Internship Experimental Re-integration Project”.

Four Indicators You Should Move House

Four Things To Say To Your Ex-Partner’s New Girlfriend

1. “Hi, you must be Tinder!”

2. “One advice: before you give him money for that ‘gecko farm project’, do some research. Geckos do not actually eat that much Viagra!”

3. “So, did he already ask you to try that Viet Cong girl thing? It’s…erm…interesting. But be careful, I ruined all my plants with that Agent Orange stuff!”

4. “Haha, you’re the [weekday] girl, right? I used to be Saturday until Saturday became ‘family day’…”

Four Things To Say To Your Ex-Partner’s New Girlfriend