1. arrive every day at 9:04 and leave at 5:57
2. make sure your name’s first google hit is “This Is How I Spit Into My Company Coffee Maker” – offer your boss some coffee every day
3. dance with a bloody horse-head in front of that blinking thingy no one can identify holding a sign THIS! IS! YOUR! WIFE!!!
4. startup: do not update your social media for a week