1. The duck ate the homework. No, the duck. It’s a mean duck.
2. I was totally on time but I started using the new X Homme fragrant today and on the subway so many females tried to kiss me that I just couldn’t make it on time. Yes, amazing, right? Although I am a fat little goblin, the new X Homme fragrant just drives the women crazy. X Homme. THE. NEW. FRAGRANCE. Sorry, yeah. I can open the window, no problem.
3. No, this is not Facebook. I mean, yes. But it is for work. Yes, I need to do research. Oh, Area 51 is another name for marketing. Yes, like internet code, ha ha. Crazy modern stuff, ha ha. No, Adolf King 69 is not my name. It’s a friend’s one, we share. Stupid name, yeah, ha ha. Yes, I’ll send you the link of the group. Yes, I can put that in my presentation later today, sure.
4. No, I usually do not approach women on the subway. But your ODOR is just, what can I say… What do you mean, fat little goblin? I, sorry, that is a bit… Sorry, if you don’t like my frag… What do you mean, smell? I paid like 78 dollars… What? Are you stupid? No, I am NOT harassing this woman, actually SHE… HEY, I NEED TO GO TO WORK!