1. Once again, there are no more clean coffee spoons, because the junkies have used them all.
2. The blasting engineering team members already have their own keys.
3. The cockroaches start to decorate the rooms without consulting you.
4. Your landlord starts renting out the basement to the “Habitual Criminals Slaughterhouse Internship Experimental Re-integration Project”.
1. “Hi, you must be Tinder!”
2. “One advice: before you give him money for that ‘gecko farm project’, do some research. Geckos do not actually eat that much Viagra!”
3. “So, did he already ask you to try that Viet Cong girl thing? It’s…erm…interesting. But be careful, I ruined all my plants with that Agent Orange stuff!”
4. “Haha, you’re the [weekday] girl, right? I used to be Saturday until Saturday became ‘family day’…”
1. Run towards some people at night in the park wielding an axe, then suddenly split your own head
2. Make people laugh with some Laurel and Hardy imitations
3. Attack some clowns while you’re wearing a suit
4. Attack the IS in Mossul, when they shoot at you, yell “It’s a prank, it’s a prank!”
1. Arrest everybody who ever shared the “Gollum” meme due to its similarity to “Gülen”.
2. Let the Turkish army occupy the Israeli Gülen Heights.
3. Arrest everyone called Kurd, Kurt or Curt and everyone who sells or produces curd.
4. Re-introduce the death penalty for everyone who ever made a joke (except himself).
1. how to president
2. how to build a wall
3. hourly rate illegal immigrant brick builders
4. contact list interns white house
1. He is going to make America great again!
2. He is going to make America great again!
3. He is going to make America great again!
4. He is going to make America great again!
(Edited on 11/08/2016)
1. Your date cleans both her/his nostrils with a key.
2. To every question you ask, s/he replies “Let me ask my ex! S/he knows best!”
3. S/he claims that Charles Manson has inspired him/her to kill his/her guinea pig with a staple gun.
4. S/he starts to laugh at you when you say that you have attended university.