Four Things To Do When The Internet Is Down

1. do some sports switch the modem off and on and and off and on

2. talk to your flatmate/significant other try to get into surrounding wi-fis by guessing passwords (What’s their kid’s name again?) or unencrypted networks with 2% signal strength

3. read a book fiddle on the cable, press F5, on the cable, press F5, on the cable, press F5, on the cable, press F5, on the cable, press F5, on the cable, press F5

4. go for a walk search the cabinets for your old device, find a box with old photos and get stuck looking at them

Four Things To Do When The Internet Is Down

Movie Thursday: Four Historic Settings Four Romantic Comedies

1. German Peasants’ War (1524-1525)

Hanna, leader of the Bundschuh movement falls in love with cute Reformist clergyman Roland, together they fight the mean nobles of their county and motivate the peasants with their witty flirting.

2. Moon Landing (1969)

Buzz Aldrin, gets romantic whenever they pass the dark side of the moon, but Neil Armstrong is a tough cookie (“Neil, isn’t that beautiful, you, me, the m…” – **** off!” – “No, I mean…” – “**** OFF!!” – “Did you know that Apollo was the god of sun and light? Isn’t that ironic? At the same time he was the ideal of the beardless, athletic…” – UUAARR! FOUR DAYS! FOUR ******* DAYS!”)

3. Cambodian Khmer Rouge Terror Campaign (1975-1979)

Chanthou is on the run because the Khmer Rouge consider her to be an intellectual for wearing glasses. Fortunately, optician Heng still has some contact lenses lying around. While the prescription values do not match her visual acuity, they get closer during the eyesight test (“How many dead Cambodians can you see in this picture?” – “Ouh, that one’s tough, but the one in the tree seems to be a child.”).

4. Cryogenium (850-635 mya B.C.)

Amoeba . has a crush on amoeba .. . Can it convince it to be its amourba and unite although it is from a conservative family that still practices cell division? (“.” – “..” – “.” – “..” – “.” – “..” – “.” – “..” – “.” – “..” – “.” – “..”)

Movie Thursday: Four Historic Settings Four Romantic Comedies

Four Degrees

1. Applied Golf Management (B.Sc.)

Learn how to effectively manage a sports resort for people with too much money who want to engage in physical exercise but are too lazy to move

2. Pedegree

The extent to what you can impress your lazy golfing friends with the purity of your dog’s bloodline

3. Second degree burn

Learn how to effectively ruin your day by leaning on the red hot cook top when trying to get the special nutrition food can for your pedigree dog from the kitchen cabinet (Guess who put it there!)

4. Absolute Zero

Learn to effectively cool that burn at −273.15° Celsius (for Fahrenheit converter go to

Four Degrees

Four Ways To Effectively Clean Your Clothes

1. Stab an animal, pour blood all over garment, put it next to sleeping drunk friend, write “I know what you did last night” on the wall together with an article that most murderers are identified by their genetic fingerprint on clothes.

2. Soak garment in salt acid. This will dissolve all stains (including cloth) within minutes.

3. Smuggle it into a KKK member’s robe laundry. (Recommended only for white garment!)

4. Soak in vinegar for three days, wash, sigh, soak in water with baking powder for three days, wash, sigh, soak in water with stain remover, wash, sigh, bring to laundry, sigh, bring to special laundry opened by undercover secret chemical weapons program of dodgy communist state mastermind, sigh, buy new garment.

Four Ways To Effectively Clean Your Clothes

Four Cases Of Femsplaining

Femsplaining is a portmanteau of the words fem(ale) and explaining, defined as “to explain something to someone, typically a woman to man, in a manner regarded as matronizing.”

1. “Better take a raincoat, it might rain. You will catch a cold. Can you fix your collar? No, let me do that. Call me when you arrive, will you? It’s already late, you have to go now. Wait, you wanna leave without giving mummy a kiss?”

2. “Ah, be a good dog! Now, that’s fine! Ouch, you cannot bite me like that. That hurts. Bad dog! Bad dog! Aw, so cute. Now, fetch the ball from the playground! Go, go!

3. “Then you put a bit of foundation on top of it. It’s gonna show through the foundation. It’s nice. It’s already doing the work for you. I like to kinda put it a little bit on top of the darkness under my under eye circle. Just a little bit. Not all the way in, but just a little bit. Now, you have to make sure, that you don’t use too much, otherwise it’s just, you know, kinda like too much, hee hee. Woah, that looks a bit gay! You better add some glitter on your cheeks!”

4. “No, you cannot use that for sealing the wall. I have to use them for myself. Yes, I know we have a problem with the water. Yes, it’s absorbing the liquid very well and the string is very handy, but can we please not use it for the bathroom wall?”

Four Cases Of Femsplaining